The fifth habit: Seek First to understand, then to be understood. If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. I know that it is something I have been guilty of in the past. Those actions, in turn, can help you effectively influence other people, which can influence situations that impact you, which expands your Circle of Influence. Browse seek first to understand then be understood resources on Teachers Pay Teachers, a marketplace trusted by millions of teachers for original educational resources. The “Seek first to understand” Rule. Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood involves a deep shift in paradigm. Empathic listening is powerful because it gives you accurate data to work with. Instead, most people listen to the reply. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. Habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood focuses on acting within your Circle of Influence — understanding the other person and expressing yourself. We typically seek first to be understood. Stephen Covey suggests a powerful tool for promoting mutual understanding: the “seek first to understand” method. This idea that most people do not listen with the intent to understand, rather they listen with the intent to reply was a bit of an eye opener for me. It involves invoking a basic rule of communication: you cannot make your point until you have shown that you thoroughly understand … Empathic listening is listening with the intent to understand. They're either speaking or preparing to speak.

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